Domestic Violence-It ain't worth it

The simplest things set him off; you forgot to reheat his dinner, he can't find his tie, he had a bad day at work. Things that you can't control make you his punching bag?!?!? You got to be fucking kidding me. For those of you who know me who you know I talk alot of smack but this time its no laughing matter.
From this stand point the Bahamas is a tiny set of islands on this round ball of gases water and land we call earth, and we can all say we have heard of or know someone who has fallen victim to domestic violence. Some instances have ended in tragedy, like back in 2008 Bloneva Bethel (God rest her soul) was a victim of a domestic dispute that ended badly for her.
As sad as it is, ladies like Ms Bethel have had the power and the time to walk away, though few seldom do. It usually takes the involvement of family and friends (a strong support system) to help the abused to leave the toxic situation. This should never be the case. In the latest issue of Stylezine there is an article that speaks about the red flags, signs we as women should notice in our partner. Yes everyone is different and normal is now a relative term because of the strong holds that society has once had on the word now being broken, but sweet girl a red flag is a red flag and if he can do it once he will damn sure do it again!
If Tom had a bad day at the office, got laid off from work, lost big at a gambling game, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. He decides to hit you, slap you around, shake the shit out of you, treat you like you are less than a human being, YOU NEED TO LEAVE!!!! No amount of 'I am sorry's' or 'I'll never do it again' or 'my hand slipped baby' is worth risking you life over! None! Think of your kids, those you have already or those you may want to have in the future. What type of example would mommy be setting for them? This is where the cycle starts, this is where you end it then and there.
Swallow your pride, drag your ass to the neighbors house, seek refuge there, call the damn police! You are worth more than that. Your life is too precious for you to allow Tom to hit you whether this was the first time or a repeat offense.
Some of us weren't blessed with men in our lives who would no sooner break Tom's neck than have him harm a hair on our head, if you have these men in your life: an uncle, father, cousin, brothers, friend be eternally grateful. These men will not make excuses for Tom if their balls are real and without so much as a second thought will provide you with the protection you need or the support you need to help you get your shit and get out!
To those who do not have these men in your lives, you need to find a friend (female or male) who you can go to, confide in, seek refuge in times of trouble. Sacrifice your pride it may save your life!
As a child growing up my grandmother would show me pictures of her and her sisters, beautiful Long Island women standing tall and proud. I could always pick out who was who, there was only one lady that I could not identify. She was a sister I never got to meet. She was a victim of domestic abuse. It seems all to true the more stories I hear that most families didn't believe in divorce no matter the circumstances and up until my gran-aunts husband beat her cancer stricken body to death their views had not changed.
Instilled with the values that are different from those of today's generation, she stayed with that punk, too ashamed of what people would think. She suffered in silence with the black eyes and the bruises, a "conchy joe" woman who had to have a closed casket funeral, who's earthly beauty was no more and who's children had to grow up without a mother, all for shame of what people would think.
Luckily this is a new era and the cycle can will and must be broken! The article in Stylezine lists the Crisis Center number and I feel every young woman, woman or child who has suffered this abuse use this number (242-328-0922 or 242-328-7824) and seek the help necessary to leave. Stop making excuses for him! By know if you haven't cooked a pot of hot grits and honey, because the honey makes it stick, you should strongly consider it. your body is yours alone to do with whatever it is you choose. Never let a man make you feel like a second class citizen when you have every right and opportunity that he has!
If he HITS, SLAPS, WITHHOLDS MONEY, HURTS, THREATENS, PUSHES, and or DENIES YOU YOUR FREEDOM! YOU need to leave! Listen to that small voice that is telling you that it is wrong, that you should leave, confide in someone, go to the authorities and move on with your life, before an act of violence takes your life away from you.

www.bahamascrisiscentre.com
www.stylezinemagazine.com (RED FLAGS ARTICLE)