Cheers to you douche bag! Raise your glasses high to the pricks whose self-assured ass and confidence demeanor has led them to believe- THEY THE SHIT! You know the dudes who steady in the gym but they cute from the neck down and have yet to realize it, I see you negro! God bless you 'les you get disrespectful. Didn't your momma ever tell you when you don't have a pretty face you better damn sure have a beautiful personality-no? O well that explains alot.
I need you to dumb it down and accept that not every girl that looks your way wants you and your game isn't that tight. Yeah you bench press 220lbs, yeah your body is toned but do I really wanna roll over and see your face, smell that breath or worse you open your mouth and say some 'ignant' shit na dude I'll pass. It ain't worth it for what would probably be a lame ass lay and I'm not that bored or drunk. Keep it moving.
You don't have a toned body but you got a plantation (Atlantis) job and a Honda or Buick sitting on some rims (that rub causing you to have to drive slow) and the only time you 'balling' is on Thursday when that check makes it way to Royal Bank or Scotia!!! Man listen you got to be fucking kidding me, baby Kerzner feeding you, allowing you to save money and your gas tank still on EMPTY! Where is the future with you? But you keep bumping that set and driving slow homie cause I see Bonquisha looking and doing the dutty wine to your music as you drive past. Stick to your basic bitches cause you live at home with no plans or attempts to save and move out or bettering yourself. Holler when you finished paying the loan off on your second hand car!
Your game mad tight, you steady rolling with your boy to all the local high schools (and even junior high schools) showing off your gold chain and medallion your moms bought you for Christmas, with a rubber band full of one's. All in hopes of enticing some poor school girl who rather hop in the back of the hoopty and cop a thigh snack then get her education, screaming through the phone at friends telling them how her "man" (that's you son keep up) is a thug, a gangsta. Never mind your ass outta work, have no intentions of looking for a job. You stay home all day playing your little brothers video games eating that 99 cent noodles like it straight saving your life. I need you to stop!
Last but not least my thirty or almost there and still stay at home and got kids brothers. You turn her on with the charm that has worked countless times before, bring her to the efficiency on your mom's house you steady owing back rent for, cook her a nice meal, take her to the movies a few times and tell her you love her and you want her to have your baby (never mind you can't even see the set you already have due to a custody battle) and can see yal growing old together! YOU SHOULD SWALLOW BLEACH! Your body is average, so is the cooking, she's over 18 so you're in the clear! You live alone so in this girls eyes there is some sense of maturity, but what you forgot to mention is you bout to get put out, the light may cut off any day now and you spent your last $20 in the food store on that meal in hopes it would get you laid....
But you shout over others, use a couple big words, pray her friends don't see through the bullshit that you are and pray to God almighty you get the pussy. You sir were skeet your dad should have put in a condom. sigh but you're here so my advice to you is shape up and do it quickly. The youngins don't stay young forever and there is only so many times you can re-run game before you end up on Craig's list!
Don't be a bitch about it, yeah you in the club, with a watered down drink in your hand that you been clutching all night. It'll be okay, maybe she'll call you later, come over and acknowledge you or even cut her eyes to let you know she sees you! (The girl that had sense)
You and your boys "balling" straight making it rain with the bands around your hands that lets everyone know you came in when admission was free cause yal just that hype! pssssshhhhhhhh GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT! Your shit is stink, clean it up man.
To those that fall somewhere in between, in that gray area, I see you boo, but you ain't worth the time!
The fact-of-the-matter is simply this, the antics you engage in, the stunts you pulling are reminiscent of some Peter Pan bullshit and my name damn sure ain't Wendy. Step your game up, no better yet man up.....
Your mom never provided you with enough attention, daddy wasn't there growing up? Seek some therapy son and leave the dames alone.
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