Minding Your Own

 Last night was a hell of a ride only to crash and burn.
MAGIC CITY WAS AWESOME!
Til the smoke inhalation and Guinness did it to me.
More unfortunately this girl who I used to consider a friend I now have the displeasure of looking at in a different light.
This young lady's boyfriend was in Magic City spending all the money he claims to never have, asking the stripper how much?!?!?!
While I'd love to put him on blast it would do more harm than good to her. The icing on the cake was for this dude to straight up and down look me in my face point his finger and say "you ain't fucking see me"!
Clearly he didn't see the two goons flanking me on either side. But small things to a big dog man.
I WAS MINDING MY OWN until he said that. I decided to take a page out of the President of PettyCAY CEO and politely change my facebook status because the girl jocks my page anyway. Icing on the cake on her twin sisters page I recounted the events of the night and advised her to notify her sister because I don't wish to be called a 'hateful bitch'. I wish them both nothing but the best, *rolls eyes*


MOVING ON....

Shout out to yal professional tweet watchers and interpreters!

Where the fuck you get off at explaining to Tommy Boy what Suzie sub tweeting to Jason!
I need you to get a mother fucking life!
Work is a drag I know, you have no social life of your own-sad, your man/woman (if you got one) somewhere cheating on your ass-its true, so you have more than enough time to watch and report on other people's lives. LISTEN YOU ARE NOT SHENIQUE MILLER AND THIS AIN'T FUCKING ZNS.
I need you to pull the dry tampon stuck up your ass out and find a new hobby.
If you're following someone just to report back to someone, who clearly didn't ask your ass in the first place, DELETE YOUR TWITTER ACCOUNT.
If everything said in sub tweet you think is about you, I advise you to go down to Kelly's and purchase a life.
You are not that special!
When you signed up for twitter, is this what you signed up for? To invade, impress upon and come up with utter fucking rubbish of the people who you follow (some of which you had to send a request to).
Ninjas are real and your ass will get got! MIND YOUR OWN!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST....

You mother fuckers who like to play like you're someones best friend on twitter/facebook, always pulling up their timeline, visiting their page, commenting/clicking the 'like' button on all their statuses, pictures: taking the time to 'favorite' their tweets! 
So far it all sounds like gravy right?!?!? Shit ain't nothing wrong with those stalker tendencies these niggas got hey?!?! Then they see you out in public and can't utter two motherfucking words.
Na don't get me wrong, no one's hungry for a hail but this is where MINDING YOUR OWN goes wrong.

How could you look me in my eye after thousands of tweets, facebook chats, direct messages and not even wave.
O you scared I might your ass on blast in public?!?! You straight fronting on these social networking sights boo boo? -_-

You need to do better.

I need you to understand this one and only thing, you crave twitter you need it. It is an escape from the hell hole piss bucket full of shit you call a life. When you're done in your make believe socialite lifestyle you go to the bathroom to check your twitter updates (for fear someone will see you). 

You refresh that motherfucking page like the world is about to end.

You're now afraid that petty people gon shame you because of your lack of social skills towards people you guess you'd never meet. People who you thought were not real!

The shame is coming boo boo just wait for it.

But really though, don't jock someone and don't expect any backlash! 

Don't see me out in VIA, BAMBU, AURA, CHARLIES, COCKTAILS and pretend like you didn't even notice I was there. Because twitter will be waiting, facebook stay pon cock!

See how being fake is really not a good look.

On the other hand not everyone is throwing shade about you, not everyone you follow who cut up with each other fucking.

Not everything that is typed needs to be interpreted sweetheart. Cyber space is getting smaller. You can be touched, you can be reached...

Ladies what are you searching for?

If you've ever heard Beyonce sing, Brian McKnight croon, or even Sammi Star Sketch Carey and that other dude sing 'pick me' you've felt that this is how your love life should be! Why hasn't this happened for/to me?!?!?
Stop there, breathe, I need your eyes wide open for this....
Are your ideals solely based on:

• what you've seen in movies
• what you've heard in songs
• your perception of the lives of others
• wishful thinking

If so this is clearly the problem.
If you hit Omar when he upsets you (and don't play stupid women hit men to) then how do you expect a happy ending? He's supposed to fall in line and be Mr Perfect?!?!? Fat chance.
Why do you try to emulate what Olivia has with Greg, when you don't know that he secretly beats her and she can't find the courage to leave, then how are you gonna find forever??!?!
You're only going to frustrate yourself and the person you're with.
If so far you don't do that but you feel like you need a 6ft 4inch man, 225lbs with the stealth of a ninja and the guns of Rambo with or without a paycheck (cause some a yal like take care a man), then you won't ever find Mr Right, Mr Nice Guy.
The dude who has been under your nose for years but because he wasn't your type, your blinders stayed on. If that's you, and I'm not judging, then you need to sit down and figure out what it is you want for you.

Is image really everything? Won't those muscles wither with age (or you wasn't thinking that far along)? Can't that job go as easily as it came? Won't your looks and body change? Will he stay then? Beauty is a fickle friend...

If you need a man that will slap you around, treat you like a bitch (whether you really are or not), and mistreat and use you, seek counseling. Your issues probably lie within yourself or some misconstrued childhood or adult life experience that is hindering you from truly being happy and that's real talk.


FYI there is nothing wrong with seeking help, we're all human.
Via twitter I have had a chance to chat with and meet a young lady I refer to as cow webs, Dawn. I call Dawn cow webs because she has chosen to take the time to get to know the person who pursues her. She knows what she is looking for and what she wants because like many of us she has been in a bad relationships. To this end Ms Dawn isn't sleeping with just anyone (a habit I NEED a few girls to adopt).
The dudes who are just there for the 'front' (and by front i mean: vagina, pussy, cunt, punany, poom poom) quickly get weeded out, you find out more about a person than you might sometimes care to know lol and some things you really wouldn't have known if you just jumped head first into what you think is a "relationship". I crack on her alot but I'm glad to know that there actually women out there with some fucking common sense.
Yeah Kyle sexy, yeah Freddy got a nice body, yeah F Dot and Scharad are good photographers, but what happens when Kyle tells you he is focusing on his music or Mr Slugger got gym clients to focus on and a main girl you didn't take the time to find out about, or worse if Farreno or Scharad grind you and give you a free photo shoot and don't instantly fall in love with what you thought was Benz punany?
Then what.....I'll wait..... You wanna be on #BahamianRealityTVShows True Life: I wanna be on the cover of Stylezine aye? Awuh okay see if sleeping with someone gets you that notoriety (if you ain't a female police officer:oops).
You're chasing these men with ambition, but what is your ambition? To be a house wife? Bitch please here....smt
Get off your ass, make yourself a better person and the quality and type of man you will/should (cause some a yal just...not as fast) attract will follow.

What are you chasing an unavailable man for? Why you following dude who you can clearly see has some issues? You watched a couple of episodes of Dr. Phil and now you think you can fix him? Really now....

Learn yourself, find out what you want for yourself pursue that then look for someone who compliments that, supports that , believes in you.

You won't find it immediately, but having brown-eyed, nice muscular Ahmad's baby ain't gonna keeping. If he has any semblance of common sense your backside will be to the abortion clinic with THEE MOST QUICKNESS! You know why, he has dreams, goals, aspirations and while the pussy good you don't fit into his long term plans. He doesn't want a woman he's gonna have to "take care of" for the rest of her/his life! His paper ain't  that long sweety, and a baby to?!?!? You got to be fucking crazy



Let me tell you now, I will get his $70 personally from him and go get that pill for your ass to take.
But you know what, it doesn't have to be all about that.
I know some educated ladies, striving women who fall into this mess sometimes to. Her man dropping her off in her car and picking her up late and bringing the car back on E! She got her shit together but she's settling for less, smh and dude straight reaping the benefits.
You're asking yourself, well how will I know all of this in the beginning.

Remember cow webs I was telling you about? Well take a page out of her book, try it. Set a 30 day, 60 day rule for yourself and see who sticks around. Who thinks you're worth it. Set goals for yourself and please realize your worth before your life takes a dramatic change that may take years to recover from if recovery is even possible.
My Friend Khristy mentioned how girls tend to go after the dogs: the ones who mistreat them as I stated earlier. Honestly sometimes as women its no one's fault but our own. Stop basing your life on movies you've seen and books you've read. Sammi ain't picking you sweets, he's engaged. Break the cycle for all of our daughter's sake ladies, if not Mr Nice Guy will surely pass you by.

Disclaimer: For Christ's sake I am not saying any of the dudes mentioned actually behave or act that way! So don't say the blog say or if you do be prepared for the cut ass you getting by your damn self, thanks

Attention seeking whores (you men with vaginas)

Cheers to you douche bag! Raise your glasses high to the pricks whose self-assured ass and confidence demeanor has led them to believe- THEY THE SHIT! You know the dudes who steady in the gym but they cute from the neck down and have yet to realize it, I see you negro! God bless you 'les you get disrespectful. Didn't your momma ever tell you when you don't have a pretty face you better damn sure have a beautiful personality-no? O well that explains alot.

I need you to dumb it down and accept that not every girl that looks your way wants you and your game isn't that tight. Yeah you bench press 220lbs, yeah your body is toned but do I really wanna roll over and see your face, smell that breath or worse you open your mouth and say some 'ignant' shit na dude I'll pass. It ain't worth it for what would probably be a lame ass lay and I'm not that bored or drunk. Keep it moving.

You don't have a toned body but you got a plantation (Atlantis) job and a Honda or Buick sitting on some rims (that rub causing you to have to drive slow) and the only time you 'balling' is on Thursday when that check makes it way to Royal Bank or Scotia!!! Man listen you got to be fucking kidding me, baby Kerzner feeding you, allowing you to save money and your gas tank still on EMPTY! Where is the future with you? But you keep bumping that set and driving slow homie cause I see Bonquisha looking and doing the dutty wine to your music as you drive past. Stick to your basic bitches cause you live at home with no plans or attempts to save and move out or bettering yourself. Holler when you finished paying the loan off on your second hand car!

Your game mad tight, you steady rolling with your boy to all the local high schools (and even junior high schools) showing off your gold chain and medallion your moms bought you for Christmas, with a rubber band full of one's. All in hopes of enticing some poor school girl who rather hop in the back of the hoopty and cop a thigh snack then get her education, screaming through the phone at friends telling them how her "man" (that's you son keep up) is a thug, a gangsta. Never mind your ass outta work, have no intentions of looking for a job. You stay home all day playing your little brothers video games eating that 99 cent noodles like it straight saving your life. I need you to stop!

Last but not least my thirty or almost there and still stay at home and got kids brothers. You turn her on with the charm that has worked countless times before, bring her to the efficiency on your mom's house you steady owing back rent for, cook her a nice meal, take her to the movies a few times and tell her you love her and you want her to have your baby (never mind you can't even see the set you already have due to a custody battle) and can see yal growing old together! YOU SHOULD SWALLOW BLEACH! Your body is average, so is the cooking, she's over 18 so you're in the clear! You live alone so in this girls eyes there is some sense of maturity, but what you forgot to mention is you bout to get put out, the light may cut off any day now and you spent your last $20 in the food store on that meal in hopes it would get you laid....

But you shout over others, use a couple big words, pray her friends don't see through the bullshit that you are and pray to God almighty you get the pussy. You sir were skeet your dad should have put in a condom. sigh but you're here so my advice to you is shape up and do it quickly. The youngins don't stay young forever and there is only so many times you can re-run game before you end up on Craig's list! 

Don't be a bitch about it, yeah you in the club, with a watered down drink in your hand that you been clutching all night. It'll be okay, maybe she'll call you later, come over and acknowledge you or even cut her eyes to let you know she sees you! (The girl that had sense)

You and your boys "balling" straight making it rain with the bands around your hands that lets everyone know you came in when admission was free cause yal just that hype! pssssshhhhhhhh GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT! Your shit is stink, clean it up man.

To those that fall somewhere in between, in that gray area, I see you boo, but you ain't worth the time!

The fact-of-the-matter is simply this, the antics you engage in, the stunts you pulling are reminiscent of some Peter Pan bullshit and my name damn sure ain't Wendy. Step your game up, no better yet man up.....

Your mom never provided you with enough attention, daddy wasn't there growing up? Seek some therapy son and leave the dames alone.

To the cleaners!

"What goes around comes back around!" *as I sing Beyonce's song offbeat*

Listen ladies, we have all been there, from a kindergarten experience to a called off engagement, we can all relate to this song! I mean at-least once a day on my twitter Macarra or some other "stan" tweets these lyrics with all their heart! I mean I can feel it through my phone!
I'm a woman and I've been there, more than most with a whole marriage under my belt. But in this particular song Beyonce sings about an "almost had" lover/relationship and I'm sure we all can attest to that.
Whether it was an abusive relationship that we escaped, a bad marriage that almost consumed us and broke our spirits, or a douche who we almost let hit! This song speaks volumes, touches our souls and to some have moved them to tears.



But I wanna focus on the almost! Like I told my little sister, 'take these motherfuckers to the cleaners".
Damn near my whole family is on facebook and one day my status read, "in 2011 we're breaking hearts" my daddy (of all people) commented and said, "and break some wallets to"!!!!!!!!!! If that wasn't the affirmation that I needed! I feel compelled to do a baptist dip and proceed to the nearest pulpit!
My dad has never sugar coated men and what they're after to me and for that I'm grateful. He has helped me to avoid some, but not all, pitfalls. There are men out there that will try you, and your motherfucking sisters! Let's not get it twisted there are some women that go for that shit, you are the women who need your fucking vagina sewn shut!
How can you lay with a man knowing he is the husband/lover/boyfriend of your sister/friend/cousin/mother and walk around as if nothing phases you?!?! I need you to go and play in traffic...
To those of you still left to continue reading, pray God delivers the tortured souls of those women.
I told my sister to take dudes to the cleaners only to say this, LET  SOMEONE ELSE DEAL WITH THEIR SHIT! She is far too beautiful, far too talented and has too much of her life ahead of her to let some gangsta boo wannabe try to trap her, tie her down an/or ruin her life! And I'm willing to bet that you are to!
I can preach until Jesus comes, but I'd preaching a long time (or will I hmmm btw). Ladies, KNOW YOU'RE WORTH! Don't settle for Paul cause you don't have the patience to wait for Jamal! Do you, you were fearfully and wonderfully made.
This brings to light a song a Bahamian female artists sings "Look at the footprints in the sand, you think you walk alone but HE's holding your hand!" Man listen, I'm quite sure TaDa did not mean Paul was holding your hand. Do not put your faith in man, they will fail you. I didn't come to condemn, criticize or put anyone on blast (not today any way's).
We as women, myself included if that flew over your head, tend to think that we can "change" him, "upgrade him" when all that happen is he drags us down! Leave that motherfucker alone or so help me God I will walk through your screen and drop a cut-ass like your momma never gave you!
That's way too many screens to walk through so instead I ask that you do this one simple thing (and yes I got this from a movie, and yes this actually does work) Get a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle.One side pro's, on side cons.
One side what he does for you/brings to the table, all the good relevant stuff. The other side the shit dude does wrong. If the good outweighs the bad, stay and make it work. If not do like Keithra's about to do and take his ass to the cleaners! Thing is lady when you drop him off at the cleaners lose the receipt and never go back!